his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
