carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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