According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
