new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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