I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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