Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
