i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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