i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize