i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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