Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
