I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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