please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
