I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
