I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
