brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
