people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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