Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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