I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
