TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
