i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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