speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize