Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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