There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
