dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
