Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry coconut_canoe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

Fav 23 6012 984
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

Fav 48 4085 1298
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

Fav 39 4571 5723
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

Fav 7 3814 1320
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

Fav 9 2359 1849
share tweet
(714): View more from California

Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

Fav 40 5855 1479
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.

Fav 3 1415 1204
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.

Fav 1 620 467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(675): View more from

He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.

Fav 0 119 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT