New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
