Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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