I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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