This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
