Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
