Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
