do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
