I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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