chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
