I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
operation have a gay friend backfired
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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