I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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