There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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