From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
