Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
