and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
