so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
