yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
