i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
