I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
