Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
