So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
