i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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