What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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