I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
