Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
