I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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