after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
