you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
