we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
