He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
