I wannas sexs uuuuu
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
