Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
