Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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